How to set Healthy Boundaries.
What are boundaries?
A boundary is a way of understanding what we want, need, like, dislike, and what is too much for us.
They are present in every area of our lives and can really support us in creating and maintaining healthy relationships.
Boundaries are not the same as walls.
They are the space between you and me that protect our energy, time, capacity, and emotional wellbeing.
We often focus on shutting people out when it comes to boundaries but really they are about us knowing where our own edges are (physically and emotionally) and communicating that with those around us.
When to use them?
Managing our energy and space is vital so that we can continue to live our lives and do the things we need and want to do.
If you are noticing exhaustion, feeling weepy or overwhelmed, overstimulation, general irritation and anxiety, these are good times to enact some boundaries.
Time boundaries
Value your time and don’t overcommit. It’s okay to say no.
Example:
“I can only meet for 30 minutes today.”
Work boundaries
Set clear limits to avoid burnout and maintain work-life balance.
Example:
“I’m unavailable after 6 PM for work emails.”
Emotional boundaries
Protect your feelings and energy by deciding when and how you engage emotionally.
Example:
“I understand you’re upset, but I can’t take on this conversation right now.”
Physical boundaries
Your body, your rules. Always honour what feels safe and comfortable for you.
Example:
“I’m not comfortable with hugs, but a handshake is fine.”
Other examples
“I’m sorry, I need some time alone for a bit to recharge. I’ll be back in x amount of time.”
“I would like to connect but I only have the energy for a quick text right now.”
Not going on social media for a few hours to allow your system to recharge or setting a time limit for scrolling.
Not checking in on news.
Last things
It's one thing to learn how to assert your boundaries, but it's another to be able to hear someone else's boundaries without freaking out.
Pay attention to your feelings with self compassion and recognise that another persons “no” is their boundary and not about you.